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Post by Fiona on Jul 27, 2006 20:35:55 GMT
Mr Benn wasn't Asian, didn't live in Govan and didn't have a dominatrix in the basement. Which version of BBC did you have as a child? Anyway I was trying to steer things back to the original plot.
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Post by GScrym on Jul 27, 2006 21:04:38 GMT
The lovely Mr Reed is right. The shop keeper was of an Asian persuasion and wore a fez. Quaid can end up in my basement anytime seeing as I myself am a dive Buddha now ;D
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Post by Fiona on Jul 27, 2006 22:34:51 GMT
Obviously the six month age gap between us Mistress G, has resulted in you thinking he was an Asian man with a kink and me remembering him as a bit like the Homepride man. I don't remember that much about it really. He always seemed a bit boring. I liked Glen Michael's Cavalcade with Spiderman and later on, Birdman. I was also a bit partial to Touche Turtle and Dangermouse. This should possibly be covered in a different thread. ;D ;D ;D
PS I have successfully brainwashed your only child into thinking Willow the Wisp is cool!!!
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Post by Fiona on Jul 27, 2006 22:37:02 GMT
PS When you gonna get an avatar?
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Post by cowboy on Jul 28, 2006 12:10:57 GMT
Mr Benn wore the bowler hat you dozy mare, Glen Michael was a kiddy fiddler (so evil rumour has it -and my partner was on the show looking at the dachsie) and you are Evil Edna!
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Post by cowboy on Jul 28, 2006 12:13:32 GMT
and the BBC i had as a child was a fascinating world..................Dangermouse was good, but i also liked The Herb Garden, Hector's House ("i'm just a silly old Hector") , The Magic Roundabout (go Dougal go) but Andy Pandy wore the same kind of shoes as the VIB if you get my drift..................
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Post by GScrym on Jul 28, 2006 12:58:24 GMT
I think Andy Pandy could have gone anyway. Lets face it, he lived with Looby Lou and Teddy.
You said ages ago that you may have had an avatar that would suit my dominating personality. Mistress would be pleased if you would send it to her.
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Post by divermckay on Jul 28, 2006 14:25:02 GMT
Now in possession of three sthingys purchased from the wee ned down the road, he made haste in search of the legendary Dive Buddha. Quaid was puzzled , he didnt know what he was looking for, "what does a dive budha look like?" he thought
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Post by cowboy on Jul 28, 2006 16:32:58 GMT
Quaid meditated on what qualities a dive buddha should possess and it cam to him..........astounding good looks, charm, an almost godlike physique and unbelievable buoyancy control.
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Post by GScrym on Jul 28, 2006 16:36:52 GMT
He had no idea where he would find such a god like being round these parts. He decided that he would just have carve the words, hoping that no-one would notice it hadn't been done by a dive buddha. Of he went to get a................
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Post by divermckay on Jul 28, 2006 17:41:19 GMT
what happened to the cut and paste? Are we gettin lazy folks?
wont be here to crack the whip, not that i can crack it as well as mistress G
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Post by GScrym on Jul 28, 2006 19:18:12 GMT
You were the one who didn't cut and paste!!!! We were all just following you.
I shall do as much whip cracking as I can while you're away.
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Post by GScrym on Jul 28, 2006 19:21:36 GMT
Once upon a time there was a happy little sprite that lived at Reed towers under the stair who wanted to learn more about a famous bearded dive guru. The little sprite asked Mr Reed if he could meet the beardy one. Mr. Reed replied, "Before I grant you your wish, you must find for me the following 5 items ;- 1. Kendo Nagasakis hood, 2. The magic shoes of the Vision in Black, 3. A wooden sthingy carved with words uttered by Dive Buddha 4. The custom made 'Gold' samurai sword from Okinawa from master craftsman Hattori Hanzo and 5. The sparkliest sea urchin from Dive Princess Fiona's crown. The little Bo'nessian sprite left on his quest for the five objects and a name that suited his charismatic nature and his growing obsession with inner space. He thought his name was Quaid, but wasn't sure if if people would stop calling him Mark. Pondering this thought, he proceeded on his merry way. The sprite packed his little knapsack and set off for Mistress G's dungeon, for she was the keeper of Kendo Nagasakis hood and Pamela Andersons red swimsuit complete with the famous large bumps sown in the front with a roll of tape for that added security lying nearby. Unfortunately Pammies suit wasnt on Quaids quest list, but Kendos hood also being red would match it swimmingly so he tried it on and decided to take it anyway. However, little Quaid soon discovered that the swimsuit chaffed quite badly... "Be a good gimp and take the pain" ordered Mistress G, before demanding that he wear Kendos hood as well. Elated that he now had the first item and a bonus item, Quaid set off on his quest for the other items , swimming the long swim to the land of "Zambullidor" arriving at the port of "Viejo y muy gay" - a land first colonised by Spanish settlers. On arrival at the port, Quaid was greeted by the amazing sight of everyone dressed in black, for this was the land of the followers of The Vision in Black. The black was of a shade so dark that not even the fabled lost FAMI would be able to lighten the depths of the darkness, Quaid was lost. This was no time for tears though and he pressed on to look for the Vision in Black's magic shoes. These were the shoes that could transport him to the totally mad world of underwater sneakybeaky covert ninja combat. It was well after midnight when Quaid located the VIB, he was in a loud and vibrant farting mood. Many and proud were his calls through the still night air. The local admirers of his dark fashion sense were in awe at the sheen on his peaked hat and hot pants , second only to the gleeming veneered teeth. With his bling medallion around his impressive water feature, the VIB hailed Quaid and said, "Are you the wee guy who has been spreading nasty rumours about my gender preferences?" Quaid turned as red as the swim suit he had on, with an impish grin he admitted that he had been asking about the VIB but swiftly added that he too liked black fluffy cushions and underwater MP3 players, with a twirl of his feather boa Quaid said you are the leader who wears the VIB shoes and it is said you have the biggest pipe around. The VIB replied 'is there anything I can give you so that I may wear that cracking red unitard you are wearing? It would really show definition on my glutes'.... " and cut you right up your sheuch " winked Quaid suggestively. In a flash Quaid removed his red unitard and pinged it at the VIB, VIB caught it in his teeth and sniffed " mmmmmm essence of man, here have my shoes i won't need them for a while as i'm of to my boudoir to try this thing on". Quaid, left naked apart from VIBs shoes and Kendos hood thought, 'Right then, suppose I better go find my sthingy.' Still a little put out that the VIB had stolen his clothing, he revelled in his natural state- free of the inhibitions society clothed him with ......"mwrhahhamsharg" he exclaimed in fluent Bo'nessian. He set off, delightfully naked, to find a wooden sthingy carved with words uttered by Dive Buddha. He waved bye-bye to the VIB and smiled when he noticed the red suit had buried itself into all the important areas. Quaid started to wonder where he could find a sthingy, He had heard that the inhabitants of easterhouse had destroyed all the trees to make sthingys thousands of years before, so it was unlikely there would be any left, then realising they were a warrior caste he wondered if any of the older residents would still have one stashed away for protection purposes. Donning his bullet proof vest, he prepared to leave his dear Bo'ness for climes foreign and unknown - but sadly forgot to pack his universal translator. 'Never mind' he thought' I can always use sign language to communicate with them'. Wearing the VIBs magic shoes, Quaid clicked his heels and farted "ooops thats going to smell , teeeheeee if nothing else it gives the VIB something else to remember me by". Many days past before he sighted civilization (locally called govan) where he found that Easterhouse was not the roughest place on the planet after all! However having no idea where to find his sthingy he decided to ask a local - "haeuneidyawhurullfinemasthingy?" he asked, trying to pronounce each word clearly for the Govanite. 'weeeil aye an naw' said the Govanite as he readjusted his burberry baseball cap 'wassit it te ye?' he demanded.Quaid instantly knew this wasnt a good response and thought he'd try for the upper hand and replied " whits it tae may?, a ast ye a simple queschin ya bam an ye talk taemay like that ,day ye ken or no afore a chib ye fur yur cheek" To which the Govanite replied" Ma names nae ken yr wee bawbag" whilst puffing out his chest and flexing his cheap ring covered knuckles, he produced a knife, a knife like no other, such craftsmanship that Quaid had only heard about in legends. Trying to bluff his way out of a potentially sticky situation, Quaid, in his best Govanese said 'haw ya dobber, dyae hink yur man enough to come at me wi rat!' Not knowing that Quaid was trained in bo`nesian marshall arts called f**ku...quaid then jumped on the govanites toes, poked him in the eye`s and farted in his face. As the govanite lay with tears in his eyes,Quaid said "your skill with such a blade is lacking my friend but the blade has the mark of a craftsman where could i find such a blade?".The govanite pointed to the wall nearbye with a poster exclaiming STRATHCLYDE POLICE KNIFE AMNESTY and said "foaly ra sine tae ra rozers man". So Quaid minced off, wearing the VIB's shoes to find the rozzers and the wonderous knife amnesty. Maybe they would have a sthingy amnesty as well. By now it was getting dark, but sadly Quaid had no torch - having lost it earlier. The dark side streets of Govan called to him, "three for a pound three sthingys for a pound". 'Right' thought Quaid, 'now how do I get the dive buddhas utterings onto a sthingy?' As if by magic, a small asian gentleman wearing a fez appeared at his side and asked if Quaid wanted to visit his little shop - where he might try on various items of clothing. Quaid said 'alright then, but nothing funny. Don't let the shoes fool you'. He stepped through the door to be met with the wonderous site of gimp suits in all shapes and sizes. He thanked the Asian gentleman for showing him around but he had other more pressing matters to contend with. Now in possession of three sthingys purchased from the wee ned down the road, he made haste in search of the legendary Dive Buddha. Now in possession of three sthingys purchased from the wee ned down the road, he made haste in search of the legendary Dive Buddha. Quaid was puzzled , he didnt know what he was looking for, "what does a dive budha look like?" he thought. Quaid meditated on what qualities a dive buddha should possess and it cam to him..........astounding good looks, charm, an almost godlike physique and unbelievable buoyancy control. He had no idea where he would find such a god like being round these parts. He decided that he would just have carve the words, hoping that no-one would notice it hadn't been done by a dive buddha. Off he went to get a................
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Post by GScrym on Jul 28, 2006 19:22:08 GMT
Cut and pasted, just for you oh beardy one.
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Post by divermckay on Jul 29, 2006 12:25:12 GMT
Mistress ,i was following your order to start a new chapter when he had his sthingy. I cut and pasted the last couple of sentences and then added a little. Then i noticed that your other desciples werent cutn and pastn hence my query.
I appologise for speaking out of turn and will make sure i am suitably punished by mistress paske.
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